found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have aggressive nipples.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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