1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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