I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
