Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
false alarm, still single
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
