Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
