remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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