You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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