so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
