hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
