i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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