yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
