Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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