it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
