why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
