Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
