I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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