i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
