You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
