Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
