I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
