yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
