i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
