Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
