There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
