i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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