I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
