Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
