Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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