What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
