So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
