If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
