I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
