I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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