Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
