so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i've created a new STD.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
