Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
