i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
