Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
