Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
