The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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