I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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