You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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