i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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