I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm bleeding and have questions
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
