I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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