some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
