I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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