I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
