Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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