Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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