Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
