HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you win again, gameday.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
